The Power of Reconciliation: A Father's Day Conversation with Rev. John Nickens

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Coming up on this episode of the
Healthy, Wealthy Wise podcast.

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And you're also very right that sometimes
it's not what we do, it's how we do it.

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Because both are communications,
both of the communications.

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And the other thing I've always
learned is that many times most

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communication is non verbal.

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Um, that it's not really the words,
as you were talking about, it's the

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attitude, you know, is it a positive
attitude, or is it a negative attitude?

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And both of those are communications,
so we can say one thing with the words,

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but most of the times, uh, and I think
it was, who was that, I think it was

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Welcome to the healthy, wealthy,
and wise podcast with Dr.

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William T.

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Choctaw, MD, JD, where the doctor
helps you unlock your full potential by

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equipping you with tools and knowledge
in the areas of health, wealth, and

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wisdom, anchored in his experience
as a business executive, a physician

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surveyor for the joint commission,
a former mayor, and over 50 years

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of experience as a general surgeon,
you've got questions, he's got answers.

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So let's get started.

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Here's Dr.

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William T.

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Choctaw, MD, JD.

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Well, sir, it's very, very great to
have you, uh, being willing to share

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your very precious time with us.

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Uh, particularly, Jess and I were
just talking, particularly since

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this is Father's Day weekend.

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I'm one of those people, I
don't celebrate just one day.

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I either celebrate the
weekend or the whole week.

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That's right.

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At the very least.

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As you should, as you should, you
know, certain, certain groups get the

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whole month that which remain nameless.

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How about that?

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How about

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that?

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Right, right.

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So, uh, Reverend Echols, again,
we are delighted, absolutely,

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to have you with us here today.

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Um, and as I said before, excuse
me, we appreciate you taking

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your, um, uh, your precious time
and sharing some of that with us.

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On this very special holiday weekend.

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Um, so thank you, sir, so much.

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Dr.

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Choctaw, you are so gracious.

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I need to have you go with me
for my self esteem at all times.

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I need, I need to have, I need
to have you connected to me.

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So, you know, sir, it is I who so much.

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Well, you know,

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it's interesting you say that
because I think God sets things

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up on purpose a certain way.

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Yeah.

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I think that there's a
triple mutuality here.

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Yes, there

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is.

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I like that.

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I'm going to use that triple mutuality.

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That makes me sound smart.

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Can you hear all of the
iron sharpening itself?

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Oh, yeah.

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Look at this point, I believe
it's titanium sharpening.

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Yes,

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yes.

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Well, you know, I, again, now
that I have you with us, I really,

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really, really, really, really
want to comment, commend you.

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for your sermon the other Sunday.

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I, I, I was sitting in the audience
with my wife and I was sitting together

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and it was literally, literally one
of the best sermons I've ever heard.

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And I've heard a lot of sermons.

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I'm 76 years old and I've
heard a lot of sermons.

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But, but, but what you did and I,
I tend to look at it and this is

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just me now, but I tend to look at
presentations, whether it's a sermon,

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whether it's a lecture, whatever.

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And I'm running through my head a
number of different marks, again, just,

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just my own weirdness, so to speak.

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And you hit every single mark, uh,
imaginable from, uh, letting everybody

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know what you were going to talk about,
then talking about it, then telling

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everybody what you talked about.

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Right.

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And ending with what I call a, a, a.

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a, a tremendous flourish at the end,
you know, uh, and it was, it was just

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great on every, every single level.

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And even Jess and I had talked about it.

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Oh yeah.

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That's right.

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Thank you so much.

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You all do.

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You have no idea.

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Wow.

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What that does to me coming from, um,
uh, both of you, you know, I mean, I

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don't take it lightly and I, so I'd
be, if I were to say I appreciate it,

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it wouldn't be a strong enough word.

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You know, I cherish, I cherish your
words of encouragement and it means so

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much, um, Coming from you because the
preparation time and I was hoping that it

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would reach Someone or you know multiple
people When I was getting into and to

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know that that happened, especially
from you all, you know I mean god has no

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respect your presence, but I admire and
respect both of you so much So much so

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much and so thank you I mean Bless you.

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That's all I can say.

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Like I said, you're gonna make me cry.

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You edit this part out.

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No, that's fine.

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You know, one of the things you did,
among other things, was that you

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addressed the issue, uh, and maybe this
is, maybe nobody else is even thinking

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about this but me, but you address the
issue of your relationship with St.

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Stephen's.

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Uh, what you said, and you said it
multiple times, so if, if folks didn't

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hear it the first time they heard
it, you said, I am a member of St.

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Stephens, and I'm paraphrasing now,
but you said, I'm a member of St.

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Stephens.

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I will always be a member of St.

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Stephens.

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And, and you said three
or four other things.

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And I, and, and my wife and I both,
you know, 'cause we, we talk a lot.

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We, we were saying thank you, God,
and I mean, just, just because we

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would say, wow, you know what, what,
what are they doing to him now?

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I, you know, I, did you see him?

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No, I didn't.

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So it was, it was so gratifying
to hear that it doesn't

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matter what they do to him.

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He decides, he decides what
he does or what he doesn't do,

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you understand what I mean?

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You know, that, that, that we're,
we're in charge of us and for you

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to, you to just lay that marker down
there multiple times in case people

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didn't hear you the first time.

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Okay.

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Everyone knew.

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You know.

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Yeah.

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And, and that came across.

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And, and it was a very respectful thing.

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It wasn't, yeah, it was, it
was, I want to give you some

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information that you may not have.

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You know.

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But, but that.

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Go ahead.

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Uh huh.

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No, no, no.

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Exactly.

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I'm agreeing.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I, um, and I, I said, oh, thank
you because I, you know, because my wife

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and I've been saying that, you know,
I, I don't know what, what do you know?

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I don't know what it is, you know,
uh, but, but for you to address

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that, what was, was very good also.

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I

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was so, you know, I had, and then I
guess Pastor Dobby did the preamble.

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He said something about it before,
um, um, you know, when he was

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at the podium before the sermon.

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And so I was grateful for that.

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And I told him, I said, you know, and you
know, I resigned, I told Jesse, I resigned

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from the, um, me and Sunday school because
I just wasn't giving you all quality.

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And I don't, I'm not going
to give my church crumbs.

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It's going to be all, all or nothing.

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And so over in Mount Zion, they're
giving me more and more responsibilities.

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I have a certain, uh, fact, say
Stephen will be there tonight,

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Devin and the male course.

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I'm going to do an event that
I'm putting on a father's day.

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Um, we have evening service.

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They have evening service every
Saturday, but I wanted to do a special

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father's day presentation with some men.

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So Devon and the male courts to come
in and I threw a bunch of men together.

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So they've given me responsibilities
that have taken me away and it's good,

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but then it's not because I like to be
in mind because I have yet to set foot

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in one of their Sunday school classes.

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I'm always logged on.

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Uh, and I couldn't keep,
I can't drive there to St.

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Stephen and give you
crumbs and leave early.

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That's not right.

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That's my church.

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So I just resigned.

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And I told Ray that.

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And so we ran agreement, but, um,
yeah, it's, uh, it is what it is.

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It's working out for whatever
it's, it's going to be.

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So, uh, St.

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Stephen will be at the
house tonight, though.

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David Gray was just the beams accepted
and Devin, the musician for, so, uh,

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yeah, it's And Pastor Doc, we know is Dr.

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Kennedy, who's a pastor
out there very well.

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They see each other over the years, you
know, it's, uh, It's a close, it's a close

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association, so anyway, I know it's not
about that, but that's what's going on.

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Excellent.

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Excellent.

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Well, no, no, thank you so much for,
for bringing us up to date with that.

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So one of the things that I had
thought about, and I'll, I'll

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see what you think about this.

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Um, the other and most impressive thing
about your presentation, was, was the way

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you discussed the topic of reconciliation.

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Um, um, and, and I was wondering
whether you would be willing to

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maybe share some bits and, and parts
of this for our podcast audience.

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Um, um, I, and I should also add,
um, uh, Robin Nickens, uh, has

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been one of the sponsors, uh, and
supporters of our podcast from day one.

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Um, and he, thank you, sir.

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Indeed, he was the first minister that
we ever interviewed, um, and, uh, he

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also, uh, behind the scenes is, is one
of our, um, uh, we call him one of our

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technical advisors, you know, that he
sort of tunes in and if something's

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a little off and he'll sort of shoot
a message to Jesse or, you know, or

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get us back on, on, on, on schedule.

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So, so we're, we're grateful for
on a number of different levels,

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but, but, but so you have so much.

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to share.

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You have, you have, you're so talented,
but I was wondering if you can share,

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uh, just some of the, the, the top
points that you, um, um, want to

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share, uh, about reconciliation and
what it means and, and what it does

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and what works in, you know, you, you
use one of the stories in the Bible.

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I'll, I'll let you choose how you want to
do that, but, but, but just give it, give

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us your thoughts about reconciliation.

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Reconciliation.

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Yeah.

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And so we had talked, uh, uh, on that day
from, um, the 50th chapter of Genesis.

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We were talking about Joseph,

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uh,

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Joseph.

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And so, uh, at the culmination
of the story, even though

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his brothers had wronged him.

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So.

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Uh, by selling him and then first
they wanted to kill him, you know,

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then they didn't kill him and then
they sold him into slavery and all

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of these things he had to go through.

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He ended up being falsely accused of
sexual harassment, being thrown in

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prison, and he was totally innocent.

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Even after that, when he finally had
the position and authority where he

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could have dealt with his brothers.

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In like fashion, he chose not to.

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And so to me that, I mean, for
us today, reconciliation, well,

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reconciliation is like forgiveness.

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It's not for the other person.

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It's for you.

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You know, it was for us and
remove that weight and whatnot.

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And it doesn't matter whether the other
person receives it well or not, it's for

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you to, to remove that weight and not be
held bondage to those negative feelings.

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that

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you have.

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So I thought what Joseph did this,
um, and you know, he toyed, if you

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read the story, he toyed around
with, you know, in the previous

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chapters, but nothing too malicious.

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And so at the end, he just forgave them
and, and, and, and identified who he was.

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00:12:00,835 --> 00:12:04,155
And, and then there, there
was the crux of the sermon.

236
00:12:04,155 --> 00:12:08,704
Um, what you meant for evil,
God meant it for good, you know,

237
00:12:08,704 --> 00:12:09,744
that many people would be saved.

238
00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:17,500
And so for me, reconciliation is just
so important, even, uh, in families,

239
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:23,080
relationships, coworkers, whatever,
um, just for your own peace of mind.

240
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:27,099
And not only that, I mean, because
if we're supposed to be Christians,

241
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:31,523
which literally means middle Christ,
if we're trying to do that, then

242
00:12:31,523 --> 00:12:37,126
why would we, how can we justify
harboring resentment um, toward anyone?

243
00:12:37,126 --> 00:12:39,250
It doesn't mean you'd be a doormat.

244
00:12:40,305 --> 00:12:45,265
and then folks can't, you know,
walking all over you but you

245
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:49,115
don't harbor that resentment and
you forgive them and move on.

246
00:12:49,115 --> 00:12:53,325
And as I've heard in your masterclass,
you know, those endorphins and all

247
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:57,725
of those things that are, you know,
activity can can do a number on your

248
00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,295
body from a physical standpoint.

249
00:13:01,015 --> 00:13:06,014
And so, when you're at peace, um it
helps you mentally, emotionally, and it

250
00:13:06,015 --> 00:13:10,140
doesn't have to be physical, you know,
so that's really what I was getting at

251
00:13:10,170 --> 00:13:13,900
without getting too much into that, but
that's why it's a good thing behind the

252
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:20,369
scenes for me, not only from a spiritual
standpoint, but also from a metaphysical.

253
00:13:20,785 --> 00:13:21,875
standpoint as well.

254
00:13:21,964 --> 00:13:24,935
And it's just, it's just
what we should do anyway.

255
00:13:24,935 --> 00:13:25,555
It's just right.

256
00:13:26,925 --> 00:13:28,205
I completely agree.

257
00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,564
And I think what a lot of
people don't appreciate is that

258
00:13:30,865 --> 00:13:32,495
it puts you in charge of you.

259
00:13:32,995 --> 00:13:36,574
You know, I think much of, you
know, I'll just use my patients

260
00:13:36,575 --> 00:13:38,084
in the past as an example.

261
00:13:38,489 --> 00:13:41,849
Um, that they're, they're sort of
pushed and tossed back and forth,

262
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,280
back and forth, and, and they
don't even know what's going on.

263
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:50,010
But, uh, I would say to them, first,
you need to just start saying no,

264
00:13:50,409 --> 00:13:52,169
you know, just, just take control.

265
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,249
And again, it's not
controlling anybody else.

266
00:13:54,549 --> 00:13:56,029
It's taking control of you.

267
00:13:56,500 --> 00:14:00,010
Uh, and then starts looking at what
works and what doesn't work for you,

268
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:04,300
you know, just the conversation that you
were having before about your decision

269
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:08,809
about which Sunday school you taught,
which church you attended, where it was

270
00:14:08,809 --> 00:14:10,929
basically you taking control of you.

271
00:14:11,365 --> 00:14:15,425
You saying, okay, this is working, this
is not working, so I'm going to get rid

272
00:14:15,425 --> 00:14:19,025
of the stuff that doesn't work, uh, and
I'm going to concentrate on the stuff

273
00:14:19,035 --> 00:14:24,624
that does work and do that to my very best
ability, you know, with, with God's help.

274
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:28,515
And I think that that's what we
all need to do, you know, that once

275
00:14:28,515 --> 00:14:33,095
we do that, we do control those,
those endorphins and we do control.

276
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:39,400
Um, those forces that affect our minds
and our brain cells and everything

277
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,180
else, and we lower our stress level.

278
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:45,800
Uh, and that's always a good thing,
uh, to have the stress level lowered.

279
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,790
So no, I, I appreciate that.

280
00:14:48,079 --> 00:14:51,409
Uh, and I think you had mentioned the
difference between reconciliation and

281
00:14:51,439 --> 00:14:56,879
forgiveness, whereas reconciliation
is two people, uh, whereas forgiveness

282
00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:58,329
could just be one, theoretically.

283
00:14:59,189 --> 00:14:59,430
Yeah.

284
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:03,699
Reconciliation is when you, and there's
biblical principles that speak to that,

285
00:15:03,699 --> 00:15:10,270
you go to the individual brother or your
sister and, um, try and reconcile, um,

286
00:15:11,435 --> 00:15:15,345
Even if it's not, uh, without assigning
blame whose fault it is or whatever.

287
00:15:15,345 --> 00:15:15,855
Exactly.

288
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,105
Because it doesn't matter.

289
00:15:17,105 --> 00:15:18,028
You don't

290
00:15:18,028 --> 00:15:19,874
want to leave anyway.

291
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,895
You did this to me, but I forgive
you because that's not, you know.

292
00:15:23,135 --> 00:15:23,475
No.

293
00:15:23,475 --> 00:15:24,654
That's

294
00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:26,124
not really it.

295
00:15:26,744 --> 00:15:29,855
Um, you know, just leading in with
the hand, like you said, like you just

296
00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:31,944
alluded to in your last statement.

297
00:15:32,435 --> 00:15:36,944
Um, you, you're in control and the
alternative to that is if you're not

298
00:15:36,954 --> 00:15:38,545
controlling it, it's controlling you.

299
00:15:39,085 --> 00:15:39,395
Yes,

300
00:15:39,395 --> 00:15:41,815
you know, you don't, you
don't ever want that.

301
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:46,185
So reconciliation, and then
sometimes it might be difficult.

302
00:15:46,185 --> 00:15:50,485
We've had this question asked in,
in Sunday school before in the past.

303
00:15:50,495 --> 00:15:54,734
Well, what if that person has passed on
and I can't reconcile with them and I

304
00:15:54,735 --> 00:15:59,975
can't, I can't get to them and I think it
was Reverend Collins that said, well, then

305
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:04,875
you can, you know, Have a mock meeting,
you know, have a chair or whatever and

306
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,145
symbolize that they are in it or whatever.

307
00:16:07,145 --> 00:16:11,124
And you can express your just
to go through the process of

308
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:16,375
reconciliation if they're no longer
with us or they have passed on.

309
00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:21,295
So yeah, that is a different forgiveness
is just the one person of reconciliation

310
00:16:21,295 --> 00:16:27,494
when you both come together and if
they don't accept it, that's all right.

311
00:16:27,805 --> 00:16:31,115
Because it's, and I think, and I also
think it's important your approach

312
00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:36,495
because being human beings, sometimes
we go in with an attitude or we go in,

313
00:16:36,715 --> 00:16:42,305
you already defeated the purpose because
your presentation was, was horrible

314
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:45,115
or we have to be cognizant of that.

315
00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:48,445
We have to go in peaceable, not
judgmental and saying, you know,

316
00:16:48,445 --> 00:16:49,435
well, I'm going to forgive you.

317
00:16:49,435 --> 00:16:53,185
Like I just said, because you
know, there's a better way to do

318
00:16:53,185 --> 00:16:54,724
it, you know, more peaceful way.

319
00:16:55,175 --> 00:16:56,725
You might not even address the issue.

320
00:16:57,585 --> 00:16:57,705
You

321
00:16:57,705 --> 00:17:01,905
can say, we've had some issues and it
could be unnamed, you know, and whatever,

322
00:17:02,045 --> 00:17:05,625
you know, for whatever it is, I'd like
us to just get past it and just say, I

323
00:17:05,635 --> 00:17:08,914
love you, this, that, and the other, and
do it in such a way where you're not,

324
00:17:09,345 --> 00:17:14,894
um, um, condescending, you know, looking
down and, you know, we like to do that as

325
00:17:14,895 --> 00:17:20,954
people, you know, we like to, you know,
yeah, so that's, that's a bad thing.

326
00:17:20,954 --> 00:17:21,845
So, yeah, that's my.

327
00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:26,750
It sounds simplistic, and if I
were to say it were easy, I would

328
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,807
be lying, but it is possible.

329
00:17:29,807 --> 00:17:31,241
It is possible.

330
00:17:31,241 --> 00:17:31,718
And

331
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:36,490
you're also very right that sometimes
it's not what we do, it's how we do it.

332
00:17:37,239 --> 00:17:39,129
Because both are communications.

333
00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:40,539
Both are communications.

334
00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:45,950
And the other thing I've always
learned is that many times most

335
00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:47,520
communication is non verbal.

336
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:47,734
It's non verbal.

337
00:17:48,035 --> 00:17:50,435
Um, that it, it, it is
not really the words.

338
00:17:50,855 --> 00:17:55,355
And as, as you were talk, talking
about, it's, it's the attitude, you

339
00:17:55,355 --> 00:18:00,395
know, is it a po , is it a positive
attitude or is it a negative attitude?

340
00:18:00,635 --> 00:18:02,315
And both of those are communication.

341
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:07,565
So we can say one thing with the
words, but most of the times, uh,

342
00:18:07,565 --> 00:18:08,855
and I think it was, who was that?

343
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:09,455
I think it was.

344
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:14,870
Maya Angelou, um, that said, um, I
will forget what you said, I will

345
00:18:14,899 --> 00:18:18,700
forget what you did, but I will
never forget how you made me feel.

346
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:19,669
Yes, that's true.

347
00:18:20,020 --> 00:18:23,369
That, that, it's, it's that
attitude of that nonverbal

348
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,220
communication that, that we send.

349
00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:28,179
And so my point is that
everything is a communication.

350
00:18:28,209 --> 00:18:31,700
And as you were saying, um, we
need to make sure that those

351
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:33,320
two communications are in sync.

352
00:18:33,650 --> 00:18:38,010
That we aren't saying one way and then,
but countering that or undercutting

353
00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:40,480
that communication with something else.

354
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,690
And many times most people will
tend to look at the more negative

355
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:49,570
one anyway and assume that that's
the one that we really intend.

356
00:18:50,010 --> 00:18:53,660
Whether that's true or not, but that,
that's many times the way, the way the

357
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:55,220
world sort of works in some extent.

358
00:18:55,764 --> 00:19:00,895
And yeah, sometimes those can become,
uh, barriers to effective communication.

359
00:19:01,455 --> 00:19:06,954
Because they're focused on the negative
opposed to moving forward in the positive.

360
00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:08,294
Exactly.

361
00:19:08,454 --> 00:19:08,834
Exactly.

362
00:19:09,664 --> 00:19:10,864
It's all in the presentation.

363
00:19:11,094 --> 00:19:13,855
I posted a meme once, maybe twice.

364
00:19:14,265 --> 00:19:20,925
And to that point you both just made,
it says that your actions speak so

365
00:19:20,935 --> 00:19:22,705
loudly I can't hear what you say.

366
00:19:23,014 --> 00:19:23,235
Yes.

367
00:19:23,654 --> 00:19:24,114
Yes.

368
00:19:24,384 --> 00:19:24,634
Yes.

369
00:19:24,634 --> 00:19:24,734
It's

370
00:19:24,735 --> 00:19:25,229
so lovely.

371
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:32,460
There it is, you know, but folks
are going to respond more to

372
00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:35,370
how and what you do, you know.

373
00:19:37,715 --> 00:19:41,815
Because I think the belief is that
that's the more natural or the more

374
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:48,435
honest you, uh, or me, that many times
the words are preformed and, and we

375
00:19:48,475 --> 00:19:53,095
think about it and we calculate or
may or may not calculate, but those

376
00:19:53,095 --> 00:19:55,284
reactions many times are genuine.

377
00:19:55,565 --> 00:19:59,565
And that, that, that's really sort
of like who we are to some extent.

378
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:05,190
Well, one of the things that some of I'm
sure many of our audience, the number

379
00:20:05,190 --> 00:20:10,490
of our audience may recognize that we
we've had, uh, rubbing Nick is on before.

380
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:16,299
And, um, for, for those of you who
want to go back and look at his last.

381
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,010
podcast with us.

382
00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:23,220
Uh, it was about a year ago, um, last
year, and the title was A Symphony

383
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:24,870
of Music, if I remember correct.

384
00:20:24,980 --> 00:20:30,759
Uh, um, and so my point is, where
are you with your musical, uh,

385
00:20:30,790 --> 00:20:35,649
journey, um, uh, and, and how
is that impacting you presently?

386
00:20:36,939 --> 00:20:42,510
Well, um, I'm, I'm currently
serving, um, as I said, at Mount

387
00:20:42,510 --> 00:20:47,400
Zion Church of Ontario under, um, I
haven't moved my membership again.

388
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,020
Uh huh.

389
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:49,675
I missed that.

390
00:20:49,675 --> 00:20:50,649
But,

391
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,480
uh, I'm Dr.

392
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:58,300
Brian Kennedy, and so I've been, um,
fortunate enough to be given just a, uh,

393
00:21:00,699 --> 00:21:02,130
more than a few tasks.

394
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,200
So, uh, in the music ministry,
um, one of the, as I said, I do

395
00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:08,060
Saturday evening service at 5 p.

396
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:08,310
m.

397
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:09,430
I hold the music there.

398
00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:13,470
Uh, second and third Sundays is
the praise team, and I've been

399
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,459
giving, I've been given that.

400
00:21:15,470 --> 00:21:15,530
Thank you.

401
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:20,130
Okay, I have a responsibility for
the music and the band and the songs

402
00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:22,330
and all of that stuff for that.

403
00:21:23,070 --> 00:21:27,119
I'm also, um, on any of other
Sundays, I'll be on the organ.

404
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,419
I'll be on the side instrument.

405
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:32,749
Um, uh, I've been given charge
of the men, which is why I'm

406
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,399
doing what I'm doing today.

407
00:21:34,399 --> 00:21:37,110
I'm doing a pivot and getting a
group of men together to sing.

408
00:21:37,110 --> 00:21:38,020
So excellent.

409
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:38,510
Excellent.

410
00:21:39,129 --> 00:21:39,270
Yeah.

411
00:21:39,709 --> 00:21:40,540
And this is from scratch.

412
00:21:40,570 --> 00:21:42,929
They, they had a male course, but
for whatever reason, they fell

413
00:21:42,929 --> 00:21:44,719
off and So I did a pivot now.

414
00:21:44,719 --> 00:21:47,229
I'm just getting a bunch of the
deacons and whoever wants to sing

415
00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:49,899
and we're gonna, we're gonna get
through these two songs today.

416
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:53,669
We're going to do them.

417
00:21:53,669 --> 00:21:57,559
I have some other musicians coming
in and so that's very time consuming.

418
00:21:57,559 --> 00:22:01,570
But where I am in it is I'm, um,
hopefully transitioning into a more

419
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:09,040
of an administrative role, uh, which
has It's been discussed, but there's

420
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,400
a process, you know, because there's,
there's a minister of music now.

421
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:17,870
And so, um, even from him, you know,
he's working, uh, according to him, uh,

422
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:21,579
at some point, hopefully in the not too
distant future to make that transition.

423
00:22:21,579 --> 00:22:25,140
But as it stands now, I'm doing a
lot of the heavy lifting and, uh, you

424
00:22:25,140 --> 00:22:28,649
know, it's, it's It's, you know, it's
challenging, but if you're not being

425
00:22:29,070 --> 00:22:29,889
balanced, then you're not growing,

426
00:22:30,239 --> 00:22:30,489
right?

427
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:31,709
And it's a process.

428
00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:32,389
It's a process.

429
00:22:32,489 --> 00:22:34,290
I tell my kids all the time.

430
00:22:34,659 --> 00:22:36,260
You you want that top spot.

431
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,129
You got to work your way up to it.

432
00:22:38,129 --> 00:22:43,120
It doesn't just happen with the flick of a
switch, but that's the way it's designed.

433
00:22:44,139 --> 00:22:46,159
Not only work, but work
at a competent level.

434
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,179
Yes.

435
00:22:48,179 --> 00:22:48,500
Yes.

436
00:22:49,060 --> 00:22:51,100
So that's where we are now.

437
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:53,810
And that's, um, afforded me
an opportunity to do that.

438
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,310
I've been well received.

439
00:22:55,310 --> 00:23:00,510
I have great rapport with the vocalist
and the musicians and the AB team

440
00:23:00,510 --> 00:23:03,870
and the deacons and all that, you
know, so there's no issues there.

441
00:23:04,220 --> 00:23:10,670
Um, and I'm just, you know, if it doesn't
happen, it's not for me, but it's, if

442
00:23:10,670 --> 00:23:16,660
it's for me, then nothing can keep me
from it, but it's a joyous, uh, it's,

443
00:23:16,690 --> 00:23:21,525
it's, it's different, it's different being
at the helm because, you know, um, When

444
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:25,695
you're at the helm, uh, good, bad or ugly,
you know, you're the, you, you go down.

445
00:23:25,695 --> 00:23:30,905
You know, you get the, you get the good
stuff and you get the bad stuff too.

446
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:34,325
And that's important that that's
uh, how they say how the sausage

447
00:23:34,325 --> 00:23:36,075
is made behind the scenes, right?

448
00:23:36,735 --> 00:23:40,275
Blood sweat and tears and goes into
it and the different people on sunday.

449
00:23:40,275 --> 00:23:44,204
They see the finished product like
oh my god He didn't get together

450
00:23:44,205 --> 00:23:47,114
and sing kumbaya rehearsal and
everything fell into place and

451
00:23:47,114 --> 00:23:49,135
that's right Kind of grind it out.

452
00:23:49,135 --> 00:23:50,665
So it's it's helping me.

453
00:23:51,035 --> 00:23:54,765
It's challenging me patient,
but and also it's not difficult.

454
00:23:54,785 --> 00:24:02,410
It's just I I enjoy it, but it's work,
but it's not you know It's not something

455
00:24:02,410 --> 00:24:04,500
out of my out of my range, right?

456
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:05,370
Right, right.

457
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,180
You're, you're, you're trained for it.

458
00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:09,639
You, you, you've developed for it.

459
00:24:09,639 --> 00:24:12,689
And again, I think God has sort of
brought you along a certain way.

460
00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:16,360
And I think things that happen to us,
even things that we don't understand,

461
00:24:16,679 --> 00:24:19,090
I do believe they happen for a reason.

462
00:24:19,309 --> 00:24:23,121
And I think all those things are
setting you up for what's, what's

463
00:24:23,121 --> 00:24:25,523
coming, whatever that is, type thing.

464
00:24:25,523 --> 00:24:27,524
Well, I honestly believe that.

465
00:24:27,985 --> 00:24:30,605
Uh, but being human beings,
we get impatient and of

466
00:24:30,605 --> 00:24:31,825
course, of course,

467
00:24:32,035 --> 00:24:36,815
I'm like, well, the clock is ticking,
you know, I'm not, I'm not 40 or even

468
00:24:36,815 --> 00:24:40,895
50, you know, but in God's time, you
know, I've, I've found that if you

469
00:24:40,895 --> 00:24:45,895
don't, you can't push things because
it's, it's, it never works out.

470
00:24:46,584 --> 00:24:47,154
His clock

471
00:24:47,154 --> 00:24:47,294
is

472
00:24:47,384 --> 00:24:48,404
different from our clock.

473
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:52,940
Absolutely.

474
00:24:52,940 --> 00:24:57,560
So I'm, I'm, I'm excited, but at the same
time, you know, I'm just ready to put the

475
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,060
work in, you know, to put the work in.

476
00:25:00,060 --> 00:25:01,470
So that's what I'm doing out there.

477
00:25:01,910 --> 00:25:06,490
And, um, it's, uh, it's, it's,
it's moving along nicely.

478
00:25:06,510 --> 00:25:09,560
It's moving along nicely,
but, uh, I love my church.

479
00:25:09,610 --> 00:25:12,390
I, that's why I haven't been able
to go into their Sunday school.

480
00:25:12,420 --> 00:25:14,270
Not that they don't have
a wonderful Sunday school.

481
00:25:14,635 --> 00:25:19,435
But I, I, you know, I've got
22 years in a men's class.

482
00:25:19,824 --> 00:25:20,274
Right.

483
00:25:20,274 --> 00:25:22,794
Um, uh, since, since what?

484
00:25:22,794 --> 00:25:24,385
I'll say February, 2002.

485
00:25:25,270 --> 00:25:25,620
Uhhuh.

486
00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:25,740
. Yeah.

487
00:25:27,115 --> 00:25:30,595
Reverend Collins and I sat down in there
and more than that in Sunday school.

488
00:25:30,595 --> 00:25:32,335
So I have history, you know.

489
00:25:32,335 --> 00:25:32,815
Understood.

490
00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:33,460
Understood.

491
00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:34,700
There's a level.

492
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:37,500
So, um, we'll see how that goes.

493
00:25:38,060 --> 00:25:38,350
Okay.

494
00:25:38,980 --> 00:25:39,220
Yeah.

495
00:25:39,270 --> 00:25:40,290
I'm just moving along.

496
00:25:40,510 --> 00:25:41,850
I'm just trying to be obedient.

497
00:25:42,399 --> 00:25:43,700
Well, you know, it's a blessing.

498
00:25:43,719 --> 00:25:48,879
It's, it's, it's a blessing to have
multiple options, you know, and it's

499
00:25:48,879 --> 00:25:54,739
a blessing to be able to, um, Um, I
go between those different options

500
00:25:54,739 --> 00:25:59,459
and, and learn from it and, and gain
experience from it, gain strength from it.

501
00:25:59,870 --> 00:26:05,129
Um, and, uh, you know, and, and a lot of
that is, is sort of what leadership is,

502
00:26:05,129 --> 00:26:09,560
you know, I mean, I think I, I, my point
is, I don't think this is coincidental.

503
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,969
I don't, I don't think that it's,
it's accidental that you end up being

504
00:26:12,969 --> 00:26:14,540
in these positions of leadership.

505
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:18,669
I think these positions of leadership
were already established for you.

506
00:26:18,999 --> 00:26:22,790
Um, you didn't know about
that, but the one above us

507
00:26:22,790 --> 00:26:24,699
did and says, okay, it's time.

508
00:26:25,050 --> 00:26:27,929
Uh, and then he moves you into
those positions of leadership.

509
00:26:28,329 --> 00:26:30,459
So I love you all both and thank you.

510
00:26:30,739 --> 00:26:31,759
Thank you so much.

511
00:26:32,039 --> 00:26:32,819
Same here.

512
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:33,540
Same here.

513
00:26:33,610 --> 00:26:37,749
And thank you again for your
time and have a wonderful rest

514
00:26:37,749 --> 00:26:39,379
of your Father's Day weekend.

515
00:26:40,170 --> 00:26:40,690
Yes, sir.

516
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,980
And you all as well, you should be able to
pick any place to eat because on Father's

517
00:26:44,980 --> 00:26:47,200
Day, it's wide open on Mother's Day,

518
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,349
you can find a place on Mother's Day.

519
00:26:50,350 --> 00:26:50,730
That's true.

520
00:26:51,539 --> 00:26:52,950
The crowds are not there.

521
00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:53,950
No.

522
00:26:55,970 --> 00:26:56,139
All right.

523
00:26:57,130 --> 00:26:57,870
Take care now.

524
00:26:58,300 --> 00:26:58,930
Okay, bye bye.

525
00:26:59,480 --> 00:26:59,910
God bless you.

526
00:27:00,615 --> 00:27:01,695
God bless you too,

527
00:27:05,605 --> 00:27:08,245
Thank you for listening to this
episode of the Healthy, wealthy,

528
00:27:08,245 --> 00:27:10,375
and Wise Podcast with Dr.

529
00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:13,105
William t Choctaw, MDJD.

530
00:27:13,524 --> 00:27:17,064
Be sure to check out other great
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531
00:27:17,304 --> 00:27:22,135
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532
00:27:22,375 --> 00:27:26,004
And while you're there, be sure to
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533
00:27:26,004 --> 00:27:30,205
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534
00:27:30,715 --> 00:27:33,774
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535
00:27:34,044 --> 00:27:37,405
That's at t wwp.com.

536
00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:41,725
You've been listening to the Healthy,
wealthy and Wise Podcast with Dr.

537
00:27:41,725 --> 00:27:44,485
William t Choctaw, md, jd.